In reference to a recipe I made that had too much garlic in it
John to Me: (as he hangs my fauxpotatoes over the garbage disposal) these are going away, do you want to say anything.
Me to John: Sorry you were wrong, I will send an email to your maker
John to Me: I think I want that to be my eulogy.
Talking about his running schedule which is usually Mon, Wed, Fri
John to Me: So should I just skip this week or should I run thursday and saturday?
*I blankly stare, mouth full of food*
John to Me: Cause I was suppose to run this morning but who gets up at 5:30am to run?
Me to John: People do that.
John to Me: Yeah and those people are called stupid idiots.
Me to John: (sarcastically) I think it’s great that you always have all the answers.
John to Me: Thanks! If you would listen to me more, you’d have all the answers too.
Me to John: Does it matter which plate is mine? (in reference to our breakfast plates)
John to Me: That one is yours. It’s the one with the better pieces of bacon.
Me to John: I was hoping for some Beattie Pancakes this morning
John to Me: Well, the kitchen is right over there
Me to John: I am about 2 seconds away from going to Chick-Fil-A if you don’t make some Beattie Pancakes
John to Me: One one thousand, two one thousand. I will take the Chicken Bagel thing.
Me to John: I am trying to talk myself out of trying to talk you into Dairy Queen tonight.
John to Me: I am not going to do that (Dairy Queen) because I want another small bowl of this (dinner)
Me to John: Well, I could go just for myself
John to Me: Why do you hate our family, God, dolphins and America?
John to Me: (speaking about what the radio announcer just said) Did he just say Def Leppard, Heart?
Me to John: As in the two bands? Awesome. I want to go to that concert.
John to Me: No one wants to go to that concert. I don’t even think Def Leppard or Heart want to go to that concert.
via text message
Me to John: What has two thumbs and forgot to bake the girls bread?
John to Me: That wife!
Me to John: Any ideas on what to feed the girls for lunch?
John to Me: Hopes and dreams
Me to John: Does that taste good?
John to Me: Like an angel weeping in your mouth!
Me to John: Can I go to fashion school in Orange County?
John to Me: No wife of mine is gonna get no education
Me to John: I want to be a fabric designer
John to Me: You have to start at the bottom. You need to work in the sweat shops in the Philippines. That’s how Martha Stewart did it.
Me to John: Night, night
John to Me: Goodnight baby, I love you
Me to John: I love you too
