June 21st, 2012

In reference to a recipe I made that had too much garlic in it

John to Me: (as he hangs my fauxpotatoes over the garbage disposal) these are going away, do you want to say anything.

Me to John: Sorry you were wrong, I will send an email to your maker

John to Me: I think I want that to be my eulogy.

June 20th, 2012

Talking about his running schedule which is usually Mon, Wed, Fri

John to Me: So should I just skip this week or should I run thursday and saturday?

*I blankly stare, mouth full of food*

John to Me: Cause I was suppose to run this morning but who gets up at 5:30am to run?

Me to John: People do that.

John to Me: Yeah and those people are called stupid idiots.

September 12, 2011

Me to John:  (sarcastically)  I think it’s great that you always have all the answers.

John to Me: Thanks!  If you would listen to me more, you’d have all the answers too.

September 5, 2011

Me to John:  Does it matter which plate is mine? (in reference to our breakfast plates)

John to Me:  That one is yours.  It’s the one with the better pieces of bacon.

September 3, 2011

Me to John:  I was hoping for some Beattie Pancakes this morning

John to Me:  Well, the kitchen is right over there

Me to John:  I am about 2 seconds away from going to Chick-Fil-A if you don’t make some Beattie Pancakes

John to Me:  One one thousand, two one thousand.  I will take the Chicken Bagel thing.

August 22, 2011

Me to John:  I am trying to talk myself out of trying to talk you into Dairy Queen tonight.

John to Me:  I am not going to do that (Dairy Queen) because I want another small bowl of this (dinner)

Me to John:  Well, I could go just for myself

John to Me:  Why do you hate our family, God, dolphins and America?

August 6th, 2011

John to Me:  (speaking about what the radio announcer just said)  Did he just say Def Leppard, Heart?

Me to John:  As in the two bands?  Awesome.  I want to go to that concert.

John to Me:  No one wants to go to that concert.  I don’t even think Def Leppard or Heart want to go to that concert.

June 30th, 2011

via text message

Me to John:  What has two thumbs and forgot to bake the girls bread?

John to Me:  That wife!

Me to John:  Any ideas on what to feed the girls for lunch?

John to Me:  Hopes and dreams

Me to John:  Does that taste good?

John to Me:  Like an angel weeping in your mouth!

June 25th, 2011

Me to John:  Can I go to fashion school in Orange County?

John to Me:  No wife of mine is gonna get no education

Me to John:  I want to be a fabric designer

John to Me:  You have to start at the bottom.  You need to work in the sweat shops in the Philippines.  That’s how Martha Stewart did it.

June 2, 2011

Me to John:  Night, night

John to Me:  Goodnight baby, I love you

Me to John:  I love you too

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